I was single tracked at a very young age, however I don't feel any regret because I had a choice. I was one of those kids whose parents pretty much let me do whatever I wanted, so long as I finished the task. Ie, I had to finish a pay-period on whatever activity I had begged to sign up for. My parents never really pushed me in any direction, thus I discovered what I did and was left to be surprised later in life by the most common things. Luckily, the school I went to exposed me to many ideas and adventures as part of its curriculum. (Gotta love Montessori Schools!)
But there was one avenue that, as a kid, I loved in school but never asked to explore outside of it. Most likely because I was aware of how incredibly expensive it was.
This idea? Music. I sang in school and even learned how to play a little piano just by watching my music teacher. We were required to play those ridiculous recorders for a year, but the school band dissolved a week into my first semester I would have been allowed to participate. I played the saxophone for that week, because the school had one lying around and lessons were part of curriculum. By the time I got to high school, you needed to already know how to play an instrument to participate in band so I randomly discovered theater.
What brought this up?
Last weekend, actually. I just haven't had time or energy to write in a while. (and I have a Toy Story 3 prompted post also in the making, I am really really bad at writing 8 things at once and not actually churning anything out)
Anne, who I would love to call just "a friend" but a more informative and appropriate title is going to be "boyfriend's little sister" for the time being, and Taylor, "boyfriend's best friend", were playing guitar in Anne's living room. I could have sat there for hours and hours on end and never noticed time passing. The only thing that was missing from this situation was the boyfriend himself (he is at Philmont living the summer of his dreams) who apparently can function as the link between people even from far away and out of touch. They played a few songs I could sing along to but it was more fun just listening to them play. Or watching them figure out and promptly argue about how to play songs.
I don't know what it is, especially about guitars, that makes me relax so much. I am an anxious person by nature but the smooth vibrations of those guitar strings resonate in my rib cage in the most relaxing patterns. I discovered this for the first time after 8th grade during a hiking trip that had nightly campfires with our ranger and his guitar. Left-handed guitar, actually.
Lyrics are also interesting, as in, if you read them by themselves it is often that they don't sound that incredible or insightful. But, when placed to music they suddenly adopt a much greater meaning. Or they at least suddenly sound much more powerful. There are a couple of songs (Jack Johnson ones in particular) that I love and have considered referencing when trying to express certain emotions but the words fall flat on paper.
As do most of the things I write. If I publish one of these, it indicates there is a strong emotion behind what I am saying. Here? I wish I could provide a musical soundtrack. I have the sounds in my head and I wish I could compose them for you to hear. I picked up a guitar and found the sounds I wanted, but I have no knowledge of chords or notes and would have to result to drawings of the chords I liked and the picking patterns I switched to half way through. (I don't know the terminology to even to discuss this, ha)
And even then? I won't remember in a few days what I played. But I would pick up a guitar and find something else that "sounded right", sounded anything but the flat monotony that these black letters sprawling across the white paper create.
Music is something that interests me, excites me, but not enough for me to choose it over school or soccer or volunteering. Which confuses me. I feel most at peace when listening to music or participating in it, but I avoid learning it. I feel productive when I spend an hour with an instrument fiddling around, but it somehow registers as a waste of time/money to actually learn. I guess I am afraid that if I learn how to play, it will loose the magic. Or if I feel obligated to practice, it wont be fun anymore. I don't know.
I confuse myself, often.
In the mean time? Ill just surround myself with people who can play and who still enjoy doing so. Their experience and smiles are infectious.
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